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Sunday morning

When I wake up the idea is already there, in its place in my brain, as if it has been waiting all the night. I know how to convince many of my friends of eyes, actually all of them, to connect with me. They do not wish to see how I live? I will prove they cannot do without looking at me.

I sit down at my place, get into eyesof ben, then I look for the button

broadcast announcement
I do my announcement with a calm voice, as if it was an invitation for a virtual party, as described in the manual, section Group Activities. The date is for eleven, in full sunlight; the shooting gets much better.

When the time to get moving comes, I am afraid. What if my mother stops me from going out? And my father could think I am teasing him, I am flinging his fear in his teeth. I have to wait until they move from the living room, from where they can see the entrance... but they never move. Now it is getting late, I cannot miss my date. That is that, I have to take the risk.

-Where are you going? -my mother catches me while I am sliding toward the door.

-I am going to fetch firewood.

My statement is followed by a deadly silence. I am already sorry to have said something like that, after all I love my parents, I know very well it is not their fault, but what is said is gone. Neither of the parents dares to say anything. Only my sister says I should take care, I should not go to the avenue, because there I can be seen from very far away...

My first friends connect while I am still on the stairs. There is Kathy, and Yussuf who says they have beaten him up only a little, and then they released him, and there is even Albert I had not heard from for a while. I wait in the courtyard to give time to connect to everybody, and also to let the suspense build up. Yes, today I have a public, the largest audience I ever had: eight connections. I would like to stay and enjoy their presence, but I feel I cannot, I have to do what I have called them to see. Only Kathy begs me not to go, but I feel that the others are waiting.

The main door is always closed, but the small door can be opened if you pull hard. That is that, I am out, I slam the door and start running along the walls. Almost without realizing it, I am speaking like a TV commentator, with a low voice, but they can hear me well because I have a microphone on my collar.

-This road is still quite safe, because it is twisted and the sharpshooters do not have the line of fire clear. Now I cross the road, and at the next crossing I take left, toward the avenue. The avenue, as you can see, goes straight for several kilometers. Can you see? Down there, there is still some clotted blood, I am sure you have seen on TV what happened last week...

I hear one of my connected friends starting to weep; it must be Kathy. But by now I am without a heart, I am like a dopey, like a dog of war, I cannot stop any more.

-You see, this is where it is easier to cross the avenue, because I can leave from this recess in a building, here they cannot see me and they cannot know when I am starting to cross. Now I have to draw breath, since to run quickly and without stopping is the only way to escape. It is about fifty meters... I am not much of an athlete, I will take at least ten seconds. Be ready. I have my hand on the switch, if I fall down I will disconnect, I do not want you to see blood.

-Why are you doing this to us? -says a voice full of despair. I was not expecting this, that Gudrun is the one who weeps.

-But I am not doing anything to you. I only wish to cross the road. OK, now I am ready; I will not speak anymore, to save my breath. Goodbye.

I get out from the shelter of the buildings, and I run across the road, in a straight line; then all of a sudden, roughly at the centre line, I bend and change direction. I do not hear the shot, but I hear the bullet whistling near my legs. He has not got me... he has not got me. I will not leave him the time for the second shot. Now I am on the side-walk, I am sheltered behind the remains of the newsstand. Then another short run, and I am behind the corner in the alley. I am through.

I do not know if I did the right thing. I do not know if anybody will wish to connect with me again.

next up previous
Next: Comment Up: EYES OF BEN Previous: Saturday night

Andrea Milani
Sat Sep 20 08:55:36 MET DST 1997